Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Aku marah, emosi.

Rase nk marah je boleh tak? Nk cite kat sape pun x boleh so nk marah kat sini je bole? Dah pade tempat lain aku ni x de perasaan, baik tulis kat tmpt yg x de perasaan yg x de org perasan.

Dah nk pk nk senang idup kau je mmg susah la kan. G buat dunia sendiri la mcm tu. touching bkn main, falsafah bkn main, sindir bkn main. Last2, diri sendiri buat jgk mcm tu. bende kalau kau sabar sikit, kau dpt yg lg baik. Ni x dpt ape2 lg, x reti sabar, dah nk main hentam org. Pergh. Bengong doh. Kau lebih kurg ape yg aku gambarkan sbg org x gune.

Kau buat kat org mmg x de problem. Semua perfect, kau tak pernah slh. Tp kalau org lain buat ape kau x suke, pom! Mcm langgar undang2 besar kau buat. Perang dunia jdnye. Kau ingt kau ni center gravity? Aku blaja sabar psl da ramai sgt org mcm kau yg aku jumpe. Aku x perfect, ye mmg. Tp aku x berusaha pun nk perfect. Aku cube jge ati org psl aku x nk gadoh tu je. Tp kalau da nk jg org je, sape nk jge aku? Kau? Mmg sampai mampos pun mmg tak la kan! Mcm ape je perangai

Ye, aku marah.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Pn mahani mahmood.. In memory..

My aunt, puan mahani mahmood. She's the bravest and strongest aunt i ever had. She battled with lung cancer for 1 year and 2 months, without any complain or sadness. She endured it with smiles, ensuring others that she's okay..

She never onced asked why is it that she, of all people got it. Cancer. She didn't smoke. She didn't do any hazardous activity. But she's a passive smoker. That contributed to her illness. I hate smokers. Aunt ni took her illness with positive vibe. She accepted it with all her heart. She knows there must be a reason why Allah gave this to her. And she stayed close to Allah.

Aunt ni was a teacher. She had taught me maths in my class before and she's my mathematics tutor. I became so good in maths , thanks to her. I remembered once when two of my classmates entered the class late 30 mins. She throwed them out of the class saying not to enter at all. All of is were shocked, numbed. Me, most of all. She said, "if you couldn't bother to come on time then don't come at all.".
Then there's this one occasion where she throws a marker pen from front to all the way back to the class. The student still remembers it till today.

She may be strict sometime, but she made mathematics fun. It doesn't matter if you didn't pass up your book. As long as you did the exercise, you can pass up anything that you did the exercises and homeworks on. Textbooks, papers, tissues.. You just have to show that you really did it.

She brought me to the tuition place where she taught other kids from other schools. She always picks me up and send me home. Never once that she left me.

I dedicate my A1 in mathematics for my SPM to my dearest aunt ni. Thank you for all that you had taught me.

Another thing i will always remember her by.. Was her marvelous and delicious mee kari! Not one that can eat her's.. None till today.. She made the best! Enough spice, enough flavour. I miss that.

When aunt ni was diagnosed, we were shocked. I saw her from time to time.. But later on, she grew weaker. She stayed at my house occasionally, my mother looked after her.. And she'll get better. Last year i could still visit her at her house during hari raya. Last month she was here with me.. One of her worst condition. I went out late at night to search for her an oxygen supply. I searched for her medicine high and low. I tried my best. We all thought that was it but, she went through. She became stronger and better, and she went home.

3 weeks later, mom said she was admitted due to dehydration. Next day, my cousin called and said her condition had become worst. The doctor already called for relatives to gather, pay their last respect. She went to the worst condition, but came back better than before her cancer. When i saw her, i didn't know if she recognize me. But i recognize her. With the same grin, the same smile, i recognise my aunt. We went home. But all of us knew that she won't be long.

Next day, 2/2/2012, at 4.50 am. Pn mahani mahmood, passed away due to internal bleeding and lung cancer stage 4. Her funeral was short and simple yet so many came to pay their last respect to once a wonderful lady, a good friend, a dedicated teacher, a cheerful sibling, the coolest aunt, and a strong and brave cancer fighter. She was my aunt, the late puan mahani mahmood.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Stupid actions

I just want to post this to anyone who might be reading my blog, not that anyone ever read it. But i still jut want to post this up.

One of the stupidest thing i've ever seen anyone doing online is that of writing or rambling on and on about a person whom they had just had a fight with or break up with. They just need the whole world to know that the other half is an idiot or something and that they are mad and horribly upset. So, they shared it to the world. Everyone tried to act sympathetic, helps in bashing or commenting the post by agreeing and insulting the other half, to make their "BFF" feels better.
Whose to know that by the next 3 months, that couple are back again together and happily in love again, acting like their stupid argument has never happened before.. And all the surrounding people acts happy for both of them, supporting, congratulating and wishing them years and years of happiness.. Forgetting that they once insult, gossiped and bad mouth these people before.

And the couple, they are the stupidest of all. They shared all their hatred, and they share their happiness. They just couldn't help but wanted to share EVERYTHING on the virtual world. They didn't think before they share. Didn't think that 1 day, they could be together with the person that they are thrashing now, with their friends. And no matter if they are together or not, everybody knows all the thing about the other half. The good AND the bad. How ironic. The person thatyou trashed about, with your friends. That's the person later on you fell in love and cannot live even a second without it. And when your friends reminded you of all the stories that you once told them, you'll get all sensitive and upset thinking everyone wants to sabotage your happiness. How stupid.

Even stupider, when you break a friendship with once your BFF. Over a person you once hate for what he did. You breakloose yourself because your ex-bff was not on your team of sympathisers. And suddenly one day, you came back to the guy, all happy and content. But your ex-bff is just another old story. Nothing change. And that's how much you value your friendship.

I guess i never understand much about friendship. Not even in the schooldays. It too much a complicated bond for me to handle. And all that i ever had was just a fake bond, where everything go bust once you no longer see them everyday. No one tells me anything anymore. I just knew it either from other peoples' mouth or the social media. And that's how much my friendship's worth. To everyone. How good was that to know. And i'm being said the bad one. Because i didn't take part. I didn't asked. I didn't tell. I didn't care. Oh what the hell, the only reason these are not on my social status is because i value too much for my family name to make a fool of myself. But if i didn't think so much of that, i would have posted these toneach and everyone of you fakers' walls. You didn't gave a damn when you posted about me. Why should i be any less kinder?

Friendship is not what it is as it used to be. If anyone of who happened to read this post and thinks i'm wrong, then correct me please. I wouldn't mind taking a hit for the right reason. But trust me, you guys shared to much out there, you just don't value your privacy any much anymore.

Only stupid people do stupid actions.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Ahah! Modern technologies!

Sometimes, modern technologies kept me at an awe position with it's marvelous possibilities in our life. Okay, most of the time. But seriously, imagine living our life without these little techs, i sometimes how we even manage to go through our lives before these devices were even created! Thanks to the new revolution, i can now blog through my iphone:)

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Updates

Well, First thing first, I finished my diploma and passed my exams.. Alhamdulillah..
Now, i'm working part time at my family office in titiwangsa, KL, while also doing part time locum at Tawakkal Hospital.

I'm going to start working officially on 2nd May 2011.. Give me 2 - months break before i devoted my next 2 years in working 5 and a half day a week =)

I'm also currently undergoing Emergency Medical Training (EMT) course during these two months with my office colleagues, just for extra knowledge and cert =D

I'm also in plan of going to Australia early April for a 10-day holiday there so hopefully i'll enjoy while there's still time. I just love the scenery =)


Monday, February 21, 2011

Oh- My- Farewell- Partay!!

Our farewell party was quite the havoc!
it's a chance for all of us to dress up, drop the hassle and party our heart out!
Our farewell dinner was organized by our dearly junior cohort 8 at the Allson Kelana Hotel hear at Nilai.. the venue was suitable for our number and very convenient. For this occasion i spent more than 2 hours at the saloon to get myself wonderful and beatify =)
i went with my bff and the saloon made us both look FAB!
well, i can say mission accomplished for that night as i get what i want, the "Best Dress" award!
yay me! haha
here's some pixcies for sharing =)

After a while..

After quite sometime.. i'm not sure how long, i'm finally updating my blog. phew!
Well, for one thing, i'm no more a teenager, but i'm not gonna change my blog's name to adolescences mind now am i? haha
i'm 21 for that matters.. to say that my 20th birthday sucks, my 21st is much better =D
my friends celebrated my 21st in a big bang! with flours all over. haha. interesting.
still waiting for my family celebration when all of us are gathered together..
got plenty of chocolates this year! and 1 "mata besar" doll =)
pictures will come up later..
anyway, i'm finishing my 3-years diploma of physiotherapy.. 3-years have gone by just like that..
my last practical session was at my sponsored hospital, KPJ Tawakkal.. i went there before and this time i went for 3 months.. i started to familiarize with my working surrounding.. my soon-to-be colleagues.. i'm just not sure i'm ready yet. phew *nervous*

anyway, lots have gone by.. still wishing i'm still a teenager, actually, a schoolgirl, but i know it's time to a grow up =)